Classical Idol
by CosmicKitten89
Summary: Ludwig von Koopa enters a business partnership with his brother Larry to help him break into the popular music industry. Having his money-grubby brother for a manager, however, turns out to be more than the brilliant classical artist had bargained for.
1. Chapter 1

It was one of those days for Ludwig von Koopa.

Those days that inspiration for a song had become ensnared in his mind like in a dreamcatcher, and if he did not sit down that very day and channel forth the masterpiece into creation, it would throb and buzz disruptively through his brain for the entirety of that day until he broke down and allowed it to do so.

And so he sat up at the piano in the high tower where he kept his musical instruments, playing out the melodies as he felt them, and feeling the melodies as he played them out, and writing down every part that felt and played best.

It was a good thing he had written a good bit of it down too, for his trance was broken about three-quarters of his way through the spell by the voice of one of the last people he would expect to stray near him during his musical mode.

"Hey Lud!" Larry asked while knocking on the padlocked entrance.

Ludwig thrust his fists on the keys, angered that the muse had been knocked out of his dreamcatcher mind. He proceeded to unlock the door, knowing that he would not fully realize the symphony today, if ever.

"What desire of yours is so urgently important that merits such unwarranted obstruction to my coursing channels of genius?" Ludwig growled.

"Oh, well, first off I just wanted to say that was some really nice Beethoven you were playing a sec ago."

Ludwig palmed his forehead in exasperation at Larry's musical ignorance. "That was not Beethoven. That was an original composition; as a matter of fact, your ears had the unique experience of bearing happy witness to its BIRTH before you went and aborted it..."

"Cool story bro. I was just thinking... see, I have decided... I want to start my own record label."

"Good for you. Hmm, if I may guess, you desire genius advice from yours truly?"

"Well, hehehe, who would be better for advice than the most BRILLIANT musician I know! That performance was splendid! Remarkable! A masterpiece! Bravo, whatever it means, bravo..."

Ludwig's eyes rolled in response to Larry's flattery and hand shaking. Since when is Larry, a wannabe gangster whose musical tastes are limited to mainstream rap and hip hop and whatever else the feebleminded listen to these days, so appreciative of his eldest brother's classically styled, breathtakingly complex, meticulously composed masterpieces?

"Thank you for such overdue patronage, but I shall not have anything to deal with your record label.

"But LUDWIG... think of all the money you would make!"

"I am not quite so wanting for money, thank you very much, and in any case I have other means by which to earn it."

"But... but haven't you always wanted to record and sell your own album? If not for the money, for the publicity! The fame! The POWER!"

Ludwig thought for a moment. Publicity is a double-edged sword; on the one hand there are the rumors and the lack of privacy and the swarms of crazed fangirls; on the other, there is the power to influence others, to at the very least share his music with others and make the world a little more... CULTURED.

"...That is one interesting prospect. But first, tell me... why do I need YOUR help to become a popular recording artist?"

"Cause, I will handle all the business matters for you. That way you just concentrate on the music while I do the producing and the marketing and the money making..."

"Fair enough. I shall participate in this likely scam of yours, under the condition that I retain full artistic control."

"Sure, sure, and I get all the money."

"Just one second. It is only fair that I ask for a reasonable share of the profits."

"Fine. Five percent."

Ludwig shook his head, his eyes maintaining a sinister glare upon Larry.

"Sheesh. Ten then."

Ludwig grabbed Larry by the neck and pulled him toward his face, his bloodshot eyes more arresting than ever.

"Okay okay..." Larry gagged out. "Fifty."

"I truly deserve a larger cut than that, but fair enough." Ludwig let go of Larry's neck with a throw to the cold hard ground.


	2. Chapter 2

Larry's first assignment for Ludwig was to make a demo CD.

The assignment was completed over the course of a couple of hours. The demo was filled with a handful of some of Ludwig's greatest original violin sonatas, piano concertos, operatic vocal solos and symphonies played on several different instruments by robots.

"Larry? Are you awake? Your opinion, please."

Larry yawned and turned the CD player off. "All right, here's the truth, bro. Your music... is boring. I slept through half of it and the other half was just... forgettable man. If you want to appeal to the masses and not just to some crazed underground cult following, you gotta jazz it up."

"I despise the greater part of the jazz genre. Also, did we not agree that part of our deal was that I retain TOTAL artistic control?"

"Dude, I'm not trying to control you, I'm just making suggestions. You got any songs that just happen to have mass-market appeal?"

"I have a better idea. How about you use your underhanded marketing tactics to MAKE them like it!"

"Bro, there is NO marketing trick in the book that will make them like this shizz."

"Well, if you believe that I will shill for your sort of pseudomusical idolatry, I am leaving. I have far more productive and stimulating things to do with my time..."

"Ok ok ok fine bro how about this: before you release your debut album, we have you record a few singles... sung in German... hey, folks love listening to songs in a language they can't understand, so you can write whatever lyrics you want! Just make sure there is a thundering beat in the background..."

The look on Ludwig's face made it clear that he was already working on such an idea before Larry had even mentioned it.

"Got it." Ludwig cracked a devious smile at the lyrics he came up with. He immediately got to work recording the loud angry piano part, and the deep anxious string bass part, and the operatic baritone vocal part, which he, being ever the perfectionist, re-recorded a few times, to Larry's groaning impatience.

In under an hour's work, Larry listened to the finished product, apparently enjoying it.

"I - I - I LIKE it! Bravo, Ludwig, this little masterpiece of yours ALMOST has mainstream marketing appeal. Heheh almost."

"Well? Is 'almost' good enough for your nonexistent standards?" Ludwig asked.

"Don't you worry about it bro. A little marketing magic will take care of the rest." Larry patted his brother's blue coiffure and slipped on a pair of sunglasses. "Saaaaay, what exactly do the lyrics mean anyway?"

Ludwig stifled a dark chuckle. "I implore you to take a German class and find out for yourself."


End file.
